28-MAID UP

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That night John slept again badly and alone. In the morning he awoke feeling very tired, his problems unresolved, feeling nervous and not interested in doing anything.

Nevertheless he went to the office again where he spent the day hanging around, unable to clear his thoughts or even concentrate. "I have to get a hold of myself," he thought, "or I am going insane. I have to do something. Perhaps I should talk about this to Dr. Hepstein tonight."

He went home early and again found Mary waiting for him with the liquor tray ready. He poured himself a straight whiskey, while Mary asked to be served an Old Fashioned again. He swallowed the whole glass in one gulp and poured himself another.

After a while, Mary said, "How are you feeling today, my girl-man?" John was by now relaxed enough not even to get angry at this.

He flushed and said to Mary, "I don't know, I think I will have another talk with Dr. Hepstein tonight. Maybe she can help me. "I am glad," said Mary, "if anyone can help, she can. I have a suggestion for you, though."

"What is it?" said John eagerly.

"Why don't you give each side of your personality an even chance to express itself. That will help you to decide what you are and what you want to be."

"How do you mean?" said John.

"Well why don't you dress as a man during the day and as a girl in the evening and on weekends. That way you can decide which way you feel more comfortable."

John thought about that for a while. "I don't know whether that is a good idea. This dressing up idea of yours started the whole thing.'

"That's not exactly true," argued Mary, "it just brought your problem out in the open. I noticed how you enjoyed that evening at the Stamford Yacht club and how you adored being dressed so attractively that all the men looked at you admiringly; let's admit it, you were the prettiest woman there." John blushed again and veiled his eyes.

Nothing was said for a long time, then John said suddenly, "I'll ask Dr. Hepstein about it. I have always believed in taking professional advice." Mary smiled enigmatically. She got up and again instructed John to set the table, while she finished dinner. Again the soup tasted a little bitter, but John soon forgot.

Dr. Hepstein arrived while John was still in the kitchen cleaning up. This gave Mary a chance to bring Dr. Hepstein up to date about the events of the last 2 days. The conspirators saw a little progress. "Did you put the tablets in his food as I instructed?"

TV FICTION CLASSICS -29

"Yes," said Mary, "and he did not appear to notice anything." "Good, three months from now, 'Jill' won't have any doubts left about his figure. Just make sure that he takes it continuously." "You can rely on me," said Mary, without giving a second thought to what she was doing to John.

"Once the transformation reaches a certain point, it is usually irreversible. By then our Miss Howard will look, feel, and think so femininely, that she will beg us for her skirts."

Just then John came into the living room.

After talking about generalities for a while, Dr. Hepstein asked John how things were going.

John said, "I have not been sleeping too well the last few days." "Why, what's the matter?" asked Dr. Hepstein.

"I have been thinking what you said last Sunday. I feel so unsure of myself that I cannot work or concentrate. I think I need your advice." Mary then told Dr. Hepstein about her suggestion to give John a chance to express both sides of his personality.

"An excellent idea," agreed Dr. Hepstein. "As I remember you from last Sunday, dressed so attractively, you seemed much happier in skirts, and did not seem to lack any confidence in yourself. You seemed to like what you were doing. Why not give it an honest try?"

"Three weeks ago, I was reasonably happy, although our marriage was not going too well," said John complainingly. "Mary is the cause of all my troubles, starting this idea of dressing me as a girl." Dr. Hepstein said, "Well, you do not seem too happy now, so you ought to do something. After all, it is impossible to fight nature and your personality. And you should also think of your wife. Obviously your gradually increasing femininity has had a great effect on her but your refusal to continue you feminine role has upset her emotionally and mentally. If you love your wife, it seems little enough to do as she suggests, and I repeat that I think it is a good idea, which will also help you to clarify things in your own mind." John mulled over this silently for a while.

He certainly could not continue living the way he felt now, his mind chaotically confused and his nerves completely shot. Something had to be done. The suggestion had some logic to it and as he already had dressed up for two weeks, he knew that it was not the end of the world.

Then remembering the many moments when he had secretly enjoyed the beautiful lingerie and beautiful soft clothes. There was a feeling of tranquility when he was dressed, he said, “All right, if you really think that this is what I must do, I will give it a try.'

Dr. Hepstein said, "It is not what you MUST do. You alone must decide this and make up your mind whether you really want to or not." It seemed as if she had read his mind and John felt his face reddening.